Here I am...
At that stage where I can taste the H.S.C. I can smell it with every breath, and even when I close my eyes it is still there.
But I'm not afraid and I am not stressed.
There is so much more I could do, so much I could know better if I just pushed a little harder. But I can't push. Not more than I have. I've worked consistantly and studied harder than I have for any other exam of my life. I know the work and am feeling good.
I am not kidding myself - I am not expecting 100%. I surprise myself by settling for less, but I am. Why stress and become sick again to achieve a UAI that I don't need?
Don't get me wrong. I work hard, and I would love very much to be manage a UAI of 100, but...it's just not worth it. It is not the most important thing in my life. Perhaps it should be? Perhaps I should be stressed out of my brain?Perhaps I should be sacrificing sleep and happiness for this brief moment of my life? But I see no point.
I'll be fine, I'll manage a UAI sufficient to get me into one of those courses. And I can honeslty say I don't mind what course I get into.
My life is not written yet, and I'll be guided by a higher power than myself - God, the Universe, call it what you will. I will be lead where I am needed. I'll leave that to God, and I shall work hard to help keep as many options open as I can.
But I have to remember what actually means something to me. I need to make sure that, just because we have been taught that the H.S.C. is this huge thing that means so much, I don't lose sight of the things that I hold important.
Not what a syllabus tells me is important, but what my heart tells me is important.
The H.S.C. is almost here, and I am not saying I am giving up, or not bothering to try or care about it. I'm just saying I'm not worried.
I'll do my best.
I'll still be here no matter what UAI I achieve, and so long as I am here I am capable; so long as I am here I am worthy. I could get a horrible UAI, but those things which matter to me most would not be affected.
The value of myself and of my life is not a measure of my answers in an exam.
And neither is yours.
At that stage where I can taste the H.S.C. I can smell it with every breath, and even when I close my eyes it is still there.
But I'm not afraid and I am not stressed.
There is so much more I could do, so much I could know better if I just pushed a little harder. But I can't push. Not more than I have. I've worked consistantly and studied harder than I have for any other exam of my life. I know the work and am feeling good.
I am not kidding myself - I am not expecting 100%. I surprise myself by settling for less, but I am. Why stress and become sick again to achieve a UAI that I don't need?
Don't get me wrong. I work hard, and I would love very much to be manage a UAI of 100, but...it's just not worth it. It is not the most important thing in my life. Perhaps it should be? Perhaps I should be stressed out of my brain?Perhaps I should be sacrificing sleep and happiness for this brief moment of my life? But I see no point.
I'll be fine, I'll manage a UAI sufficient to get me into one of those courses. And I can honeslty say I don't mind what course I get into.
My life is not written yet, and I'll be guided by a higher power than myself - God, the Universe, call it what you will. I will be lead where I am needed. I'll leave that to God, and I shall work hard to help keep as many options open as I can.
But I have to remember what actually means something to me. I need to make sure that, just because we have been taught that the H.S.C. is this huge thing that means so much, I don't lose sight of the things that I hold important.
Not what a syllabus tells me is important, but what my heart tells me is important.
The H.S.C. is almost here, and I am not saying I am giving up, or not bothering to try or care about it. I'm just saying I'm not worried.
I'll do my best.
I'll still be here no matter what UAI I achieve, and so long as I am here I am capable; so long as I am here I am worthy. I could get a horrible UAI, but those things which matter to me most would not be affected.
The value of myself and of my life is not a measure of my answers in an exam.
And neither is yours.
posted by ~Gem~ | 8:53 pm
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