We each decide who we are. We all have the basics - emotions, thoughts, senses. We all experience things. But I don't believe it is purely the differences of experiences which shape us into different people, but the way we perceive them.We have choices as to how to act a react. Choices as to what to think and how to feel.
Like everyone else, I have made these choices, both consciously and unconsciously.I have chosen to be optimistic, to be religious, to be studious, to follow the rules, to be cotten candy and sugar sweet to the best of my ability.
This is who I am now. To change I would be accused of NOT being myself.
And that is okay with me. I like being thought of as I am - I have worked hard to gain my goody-girl reputation.
But while this is how I have chosen to act...it is not all of me.
I cannot be ALL of me. To be all of what I am at once I would become such a huge paradox that every part of me would cancel every other part of me out and I would become nothing. To be all of what I am by being different at different times as it would confuse and distance people. They would shake their heads and say I'd changed, that they didn't know me any more and that I should be hanging with a different crowd.
I have not been myself today. Not the self you know.
I have been able to do this because I have been alone in my study, where no one can see me. No one can hear my music and say that it's too dark for me. No one can see my clothes and say it's to revealing for me. No one can see the picture on my wall and tell me that girl is no role model for me. No one can read what I have written and tell me it did not come from me. No one can see how I've acted and say it does not suit me.
I like my music, I like my clothes, I like those people who can be everything I hold the potential to be but can never bring myself to be.
When I'm by myself there is no need to define me and I can be any part of me I want to be.
And you don't have to look down your nose at me and say you don't know who I am today. All you can do is read this post and think "she probably wasn't as different today as she thinks she was", and that's okay for you to think that. It's best that you think that.

But I know it's not true.

There's more to me than that...

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Some different me walks a different path,
plays a different game,
wears a different mask.

Some different meknows a different day,
sees a different life,
and goes a different way...